Women Need Not Perform Positive Mitzvos That Are Time Constrained
The Torah1 frees a woman from performing positive mitzvos that are constrained by time. Thus, for example, a woman is not obligated to perform the mitzvah of sukkah, as Sukkos falls on a specific date, the 15th of Tishrei. [She is, however, obligated to perform all those mitzvos that have no time constraints and which always apply, such as the mitzvah to love G‑d — a commandment that is to be fulfilled at all times.]
Thus the Mishnah states:2 “All positive commandments that are time-bound must be performed by men but need not be performed by women. All positive commandments that are not time-bound must be performed equally by men and women. All prohibitive commandments must be performed equally by men and women.”
By freeing a woman from all positive, time-bound commandments, the Jewish woman is seemingly losing out on the opportunity and merit of performing these mitzvos. Why was she freed from their performance?
After all, mitzvos are not so much a Jew’s obligation as they are an opportunity and merit for him, as the Mishnah states,3 “The Holy One, blessed be He, wished to make the people of Israel meritorious; therefore He gave them Torah and mitzvos in abundant measure.” Chassidus explains that the merit of mitzvos lies in the fact that their performer becomes attached to G‑d through their performance. Indeed this is the meaning of the word mitzvah, from the term tzavsa, or connection4 — a connection made between the performer of the mitzvah and G‑d, the Commander of the mitzvah.
This being so, by freeing women from the obligation of performing these time-bound mitzvos, they are losing a precious opportunity to connect to G‑d. Why, then, were they freed from this obligation?
Dedication to the Household
There are those who explain that a woman was freed from these mitzvos since she is preoccupied with household matters, raising her children, etc., and she thus does not have the time to perform all the mitzvos.
The Torah therefore freed her from the performance of certain mitzvos so that she is able to devote herself and dedicate all her energies to fulfilling her unique tasks and duties.
In no way, however, does this sufficiently answer the essence of the issue: she still seems to be losing the opportunity and merit to cleave to G‑d through the performance of these mitzvos.
Our Sages inform us5 that even if someone is legitimately freed from performing certain mitzvos, “it is still not considered as if he actually performed them.”
If someone, through absolutely no fault of his own, cannot perform a mitzvah — e.g., he is abducted by bandits before Rosh HaShanah and held in captivity until after the festival, and cannot possibly fulfill the mitzvah of shofar — he will not be rewarded as if he had actually performed the mitzvah of shofar.
True, he will not be punished for not performing the mitzvah as it was entirely out of his hands, but he also does not merit the tremendous spiritual benefit that is derived from the performance of a mitzvah. He lacks the attachment to G‑d that he would have gained through the performance of that mitzvah.
How, then, is it possible for the Jewish woman to lose out and not merit the additional measure of cleaving to G‑d that she would have obtained by being able to perform these mitzvos?
The Husband’s Performance Affects His Wife
However, in light of thefundamental principle that husband and wife share one soul and are truly one — we understand full well that, in fact, the woman loses nothing at all by her preoccupation with running the household, training and guiding the children, etc., and her resultinginability to fulfill certain mitzvos.
Her husband’s performance of these mitzvos affects her to the same degree as if she had personally performed them.6
An exact comparison can be made to the mitzvah of tefillin. The tefillin are placed on the hand and on the head. Now nobody would ever think that the connection to G‑d achieved through the performance of this mitzvah is limited to the head and hand alone and does not influence the rest of the person’s body. Clearly, the entire person performs this mitzvah via his hands and head, and the resulting connection to G‑d engendered by it is mutually shared by all organs alike.
Since husband and wife are truly an organic whole, it follows that whatever spiritual benefit accrues to the husband through his performance of this and other time-bound mitzvosaccrues equally to his wife as well.
Thus the wife loses nothing at all by being freed from time-bound positive commandments. The merits that her husband attains from their performance are her merits as well.
Understandably, the same is true regarding those mitzvos performed by the wife and not the husband. Her performance not only draws her closer to G‑d but her husband as well. After all, they are entirely one.
“For Your Covenant Which You Have Sealed in Our Flesh”
The above concept is also alluded to in Shulchan Aruch,7 in explaining the text of the Grace After Meals as recited by women.
In the course of the Grace After Meals, mention is made of the covenant of circumcision: “For Your covenant which You have sealed in our flesh.” It is stated in Shulchan Aruch that women, too, recite this text although they are not circumcised.
How is it possible for someone who is uncircumcised to declare, “For Your covenant which You have sealed in our flesh”?
However, since the husband is circumcised and husband and wife are as one body, the wife too can affirm, “For Your covenant which You have sealed in our flesh”!
In the words of the Alter Rebbein his Shulchan Aruch: “Since one is not deemed a man unless he has a wife, male and female are thus as one body. The woman can therefore say in reference to her husband’s circumcision, “which You have sealed in our flesh.”
A Connection Between Husband and Wife
Exists Even Before Their Marriage
But what about women who have not yet married?8
According to the explanation offered above that the wife shares equally in the merit of the mitzvos performed by her husband, it would seem that an unmarried woman — who as of yet lacks the mate who will share the merits of his mitzvah performance with her — does lack the merits and benefits of those mitzvos she is not obligated to perform.
However, in truth, the intrinsic connection between husband and wife begins even before their marriage.
Since the bond between husband and wife is a soul bond, both sharing the same soul, then even though this bond is concealed and not at all obvious before their actual marriage, this bond already exists from the moment of their birth as they both descend into this world sharing the very same soul.
Since this intrinsic connection always exists, the mitzvos performed by a woman’s future husband benefit and merit his future wife as well. G‑d, Who, after all, knows who this woman’s future husband will be and which two people share the selfsame soul, connects and credits the future husband’s good deeds to his future wife, and the future wife’s good deeds to her future husband.
There is an additional and more profound reason why the woman does not perform time-bound positive commandments, and this has to do with the unique and wondrous characteristics of the woman.
Husband and Wife Merit A “Fire of Yud and Hei”
In light of the above, we may add that there exists yet another important aspect and quality to marriage:
Those mitzvos performed by husband and wife after their marriage elicit a greater degree of connection with G‑d than those performed prior to marriage.
To explain this matter:
The Gemara states that9 “When husband and wife — ish and ishah — merit, the Divine Presence, the Shechinah, resides in their midst.”
Rashi explains: G‑d divided the Divine name composed of the letters Yud and Heibetween husband and wife, placing the letter Yud of His name in the איש (man – ish) and the letter Hei of His name in the אשה(woman – ishah). Man, ish (which is composed of the three letters alef, yud and shin), is thus a combination of the word eish (fire), and Yud; and woman, ishah (composed of the three letters alef, shin and hei), is a combination of the word eish (fire), and Hei. When Yud and Hei are combined, they form the Divine name “Yud-Hei.”
In other words, in order to create a “Divine fire” to be aflame with one’s union to G‑d, the unity and bond of marriage between husband and wife is necessary.
Although before the wedding, man and woman also merit to unite and cleave to G‑d through their performance of mitzvos, achieving a fiery and fervent connection to Him, this cannot compare to the bond that is formed with G‑d by the couple once they are married. After their marriage, when the two halves of their mutual soul unite, they attain a loftier state of connection with G‑d — the blazing spiritual fire of the Divine name “Yud-Hei.”
The reason they are able to accomplish this specifically after their marriage and not while they are still single is as follows:
The Midrash states10 that the world was created so that the Jewish people would transform this physical and corporeal world into a holy place, an “abode” in which Jews live a life of Torah and mitzvos and fulfill G‑d’s desire “to have an abode in the lower realms.” G‑d desired that this most lowly world be transformed into an abode for Him.
This is primarily accomplished after one marries, for a person is not so occupied with financial matters and the material world as a whole while he is still single; he can spend much more time occupied in lofty spiritual matters such as Torah study, prayer and the performance of mitzvos.
With the onset of marriage, the person truly enters the material world, occupied as he is with building a home, earning a living, and the like.
When the young couple transforms their physical dwelling into a holy abode, a home based on spiritual integrity and purity in accordance with the age-old laws and customs of Judaism, they then fulfill G‑d’s earnest and passionate desire “to have an abode in the lower realms.” G‑d thus becomes an equal partner in their marriage, as previously stated, “When husband and wife merit, the Divine Presence resides in their midst.”
We understand accordingly why husband and wife enjoy a greater bond with G‑d following their marriage:
By getting married, husband and wife fulfill G‑d’s essential and intrinsic desire “to have an abode in the lower realms.” They thus merit to become attached to G‑d’s Essence, the source of this desire, the degree known as “G‑d’s very Essence and Being.”
A Jewish marriage thus results in causing sheer delight and satisfaction to G‑d. Nothing could possibly be greater than this!
[This will be understood more thoroughly in light of that which is explained in Kabbalah and Chassidus11 that in their supernal source in the higher spiritual worlds, man represents and symbolizes the supernal Sefiros of Z’eir Anpin, the male aspect and bestower, and the woman is likened to Malchus, the female aspect, that of the recipient. Their unification reveals the truest form, as it were, of G‑d’s Existence and Being.]
