Betrothal and Marriage Between G‑d and the Jews

Various Midrashim1 liken the connection between the Jewish people and G‑d to the bond that exists between husband and wife. Just as husband and wife are truly one — “He shall cleave to his wife and they shall become one flesh”2 — so, too, the Jewish people and G‑d are wholly united.

Additionally, just as the unification between husband and wife consists of two stages, eirusin and then nisuin, the same is true regarding the unification of the Jewish people and G‑d: first comes betrothal, followed by marriage.

The essential character of eirusin and nisuin between the Jewish people and G‑d is the following:

Eirusin is an entirely spiritual bond between husband and wife, a soul unification, for husband and wife have yet to have a physical relationship. The same is true regarding the eirusin of G‑d and the Jewish people — the connection between them only exists on a soul level — on the transcendent and loftier levels of the Jew. This connection is not felt in his physical body at all, nor is it reflected anywhere in his everyday life and aspirations. In other words, the love and unity between the Jew and G‑d is only the soul’s love for G‑d — his physical self has not yet attained this degree of love and unity.

Nisuin represents a total bond between husband and wife, not only on the spiritual plane but on the lowly physical plane as well. So, too, regarding the marriage of G‑d and the Jewish people: their connection is total and absolute, bound together not only from a spiritual and soul perspective, but within the Jew’s physical body and material affairs as well.

One can attain this lofty state of nisuin only when it is preceded by eirusin, which, as explained above, involves the aspect of separation.


Separation From Evil — Eirusin; Attachment to G‑d — Nisuin

The explanation of this matter:

The books of Mussar and Chassidus explain at length that the physical and the spiritual are two opposite extremes and are totally antithetical. There is fierce opposition between holiness and spirituality on one hand and physicality and corporeality on the other. Consequently, it is impossible for a person to be attached to both holiness and worldliness at the same time.

One cannot delight in holy matters and simultaneously delight in corporeal matters; if someone’s passions and delights are physical and corporeal, it is impossible for him to truly cleave to G‑d; he will find it impossible to truly delight and enjoy spiritual and holy matters.

Thus, for a Jew to be bound and attached to G‑d and to holy matters, he must first distance himself and abstain from materialism and corporeal delights. As the Alter Rebbe writes in Tanya:3 “Since holiness and kelipah4 are antithetical ... commensurate with the abundance of love towards G‑d will be the extent of hatred toward the sitra achra.”5 He “who does not find evil utterly repugnant, will not love G‑d completely.” Only after first separating from corporeal delights can the person completely connect to G‑d.

This is also alluded to in the verse in Tehillim:6 “Turn away from evil and (then) do good.” Before a person draws close to G‑d, “do good,” he must first “turn away from evil.” As long as a person is ensnared by evil and spiritual impurity, and passionate about physicality and corporeality, he will find it impossible to draw close to G‑d. Only after he distances himself from evil will he be able to draw near and feel the revelation of G‑d’s holiness, the level of “do good.”7

This, then, is the meaning of eirusin preceding nisuin:

As explained earlier, the simple meaning of eirusin is that of the betrothed being “separate and apart” from all other men, so that the connection and bond between the couple during marriage will be utterly whole. So, too, regarding the wedding of G‑d and the Jewish people: eirusin denotes a Jew’s separation from corporeality so that he is able to wholly connect and bond with G‑d in the state of marriage.


The Stages of Eirusin and Nisuin
Parallel Mitzvos and Torah

These two stages of eirusin and nisuin are found within holiness itself: mitzvos are the level of eirusin and Torah is the level of nisuin:8

Eirusin denotes the wholly spiritual, the soul connection between husband and wife. This is similar to the connection that is formed between the Jewish people and G‑d through their performance of His mitzvos. Nisuin denotes the connection between husband and wife that exists on the physical plane as well. This is similar to the connection that is formed between the Jewish people and G‑d through their study of Torah.

To explain:

Although a person performs the mitzvos with his body and physical limbs, he need not be permeated with the spirituality inherent in these mitzvos during his performance of them; it suffices to perform these mitzvos in an encompassing manner — with merely the feeling that he is accepting the Divine yoke — without really understanding the inner significance of the mitzvos that he is performing. For regarding the mitzvos, “The deed itself is what is most important.”9

Torah, by contrast, requires that the person comprehend its wisdom intellectually; Torah then not only encompasses him but permeates his entire essence and being.

So writes the Alter Rebbe in Tanya:10 “For through all the mitzvos performed in action and speech, G‑d clothes the soul and envelops it ... while in the case of the knowledge of Torah, in addition to the intellect’s being clothed in (i.e., enveloped by) Divine wisdom, the Divine wisdom is also within him....”

Mitzvos are therefore likened to eirusin. For just as the connection between husband and wife during the time of eirusin is merely spiritual and “enveloping” and is not revealed within the body, so too with regard to mitzvos — the connection between Jews and G‑d is merely on an encompassing level: it does not penetrate and become revealed within a Jew’s intellect and comprehension.

Torah, however, is likened to marriage, for just as the Divine illumination of the sanctity of Torah permeates the individual’s intellect and comprehension, the connection between husband and wife at the time of marriage is revealed within their physical bodies as well.


Eirusin and Nisuin
Parallel the Present and the Days of Mashiach

The complete state of nisuin between G‑d and the Jewish people will take place only in the Days of Mashiach, as the Midrash states:11 “This world was ... eirusin; in the Days of Mashiach there will be nisuin.”

To explain:

Although one unites with G‑d through Torah study, this unification is not at all revealed, for we do not perceive how a Jew who learns Torah has become close to G‑d. This closeness is obscured and concealed in an “enveloping” manner and is not as revealed as is the state of nisuin.

In the times of Mashiach, however, the bond and connection between a Jew and G‑d will be fully revealed, as the verse states:12 “And all flesh shall perceive ... G‑d.” At that time, all those matters that presently conceal G‑d’s holiness and revelation will disappear, as the verse states:13 “The spirit of impurity shall be removed from the earth.” G‑dliness will then be manifest, and there will be the ultimate and revealed connection of nisuin between G‑d and His people.

Thus, the total and absolute union between the Jewish people and G‑d will take place only at the time of Mashiach’s arrival.

May it be G‑d’s will that we speedily merit these days.