“He Shall Cleave to His Wife and They Shall Become One Flesh”
The commandment to marry appears in the book of Bereishis:1 “Therefore shall man leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
This verse is written as a continuation of the narrative regarding the creation of Chava, as the Torah relates:2 “G‑d caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept. G‑d took one of his ribs ... and built ... a woman ... ‘a bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.’” In the sequel to the above, the Torah states a general directive to all men and women for all the generations to come: “Man ... shall cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
At first glance this seems odd:
The explanation given by the verse regarding Adam and Chava’s marriage applied only to them, while the statement “therefore shall man...” implies that Adam and Chava’s marriage serves as the source of the commandment for all men and women to marry. This is indeed strange. What is the comparison between Adam and Chava to all other men and women?
Adam and Chava were originally one body, for Chava was created from Adam’s body — “a bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh” — and it is thus understandable why they are to reunite and cleave to each other. Other couples, however, were never one body. What is the meaning of “therefore…”? Why should Adam and Chava’s marriage obligate all other couples to marry?3
The Two Levels of “A Bone From My Bones”
The matter will be understood in light of the foundation laid at the beginning of this book, cited in the introductory chapters, that husband and wife possess one soul. Therefore:
Chava’s being “a bone from my bone” (the Hebrew word etzem, which translates into “bone” also denotes and can be translated as “essence”) is germane on two levels. On the physical plane, Chava derived from Adam’s physical rib bone. On the spiritual plane, Adam and Chava shared the same soul, and Chava’s soul was “an essence from my essence” — part of Adam’s soul. Thus Adam and Chava were each part of the same body and the same soul. The connection between Adam and Chava was thus of a dual nature: They were each of the same body; they were also each of the same spiritual essence — one soul.
The verse’s reasoning that all men and women should marry because Adam and Chava did so will be understood accordingly: Although [all] husbands and wives [outside of Adam and Chava] are not of one physical essence, they are, however, of one spiritual essence, one soul. The commandment to marry and reunite their two spiritual halves therefore applies to them as well.
In other words, since husband and wife are “an essence of my essence,” which is to say that they are one soul, “Therefore shall man leave his father and mother, and he shall cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” True, husband and wife are not one physical body and entity; on the spiritual plane, however, their connection to each other shares the very same spiritual connection that existed between Adam and Chava who shared the same soul. They are therefore to marry and cleave to each other.