Groom and Bride — King and Queen
The Rama writes1 that it is forbidden for a groom to go out into the street alone and unaccompanied during the “Seven Days of Festivity,” the week following the wedding.
There are those who also maintain this practice2 for both groom and bride throughout the week preceding the wedding.3 Moreover, the groom or the bride are not left alone during the week preceding the wedding even while in their respective homes.4
The reason for this is as follows:
During the week following the wedding, [escorting groom and bride is] for the sake of honoring them, since “A groom is similar to a king, and a bride to a queen.”5 Since they are then royalty, they comport themselves accordingly. Just as when a king and queen set out they are accompanied by a royal escort, so too do the royal bride and groom.
Protection From Mazikim
During the week preceding the wedding, when groom and bride have yet to become king and queen, this guarding is necessary for the sake of protecting them from possible harm that may be inflicted upon them by forces of evil and spiritual impurity which seek to harm and injure the groom and bride.
(This is why this protection and guarding extends to the home as well and not merely when they go outside, for the forces of unholiness are capable of causing harm not only outside the home, but within the home as well.)
The reason we are concerned about this possible harm specifically during the week preceding the wedding is that:
The unholy forces make the utmost effort to draw and receive nurture from the forces of holiness; i.e., to seduce those who are on the side of holiness and goodness and lead them astray. They spare no effort in drawing them to spiritual impurity and evil (and as the Rebbe states:6 “The unholy forces only provoke and cleave to holiness, inasmuch as the unholy forces run after a place from where they can receive nurture”).
Since a wedding is a singular event that has immense consequence on the person’s entire life as well as the lives of his children, the forces of unholiness exert effort and seek to harm this important and fundamental act. Thus protection is necessary so as to prevent them from causing harm.7
The Greater the Individual —
The Greater His Inclination Towards Evil
In addition to the above, there is yet another reason we fear that damage may be done by the unholy forces specifically around the time of a wedding:
By and large, the loftier a person’s spiritual status, the more the forces of unholiness exert themselves to entice that individual towards them in order to derive a greater degree of nurture and sustenance from that loftier individual.8
This is in keeping with the saying of our Sages:9 “Whoever is greater than another, his yetzer [hara,] (inclination towards evil) is also greater.” This is to say, the greater the person, the more intense the efforts of his evil inclination will be to capture him in its web so it can receive a greater degree of sustenance and nurture from him.
An example of the above can be found in the laws of spiritual impurity with regard to gentiles:
There is a ruling10 that upon awakening in the morning, before one washes his hands, “one should be especially careful not to touch any food or drink, so that they will not be rendered impure. ... However, one need not be concerned about gentiles touching food.” In other words, if a gentile touches food before washing his hands, it does not render it impure, while a Jew who touches food before washing his hands does render the food impure.
The same is true with regard to the ritual impurity emanating from a dead body:11 “If one bends over (in Hebrew: “mahil, he tents over”) the grave of a gentile, he does not become defiled,”12 since “A gentile who dies is not subject to the ritual impurity of a dead body,”13 while if an individual bends over the grave of a Jew, he does become ritually impure.
At first glance, this is absolutely astonishing! How is it possible for a Jew — possessing as he does a holy body and a sacred soul — to be more impure than a gentile?
However, it is precisely because Jews are so holy and filled with spiritual properties that the unholy forces desire to ensnare them in their nets. Since gentile bodies lack holiness, however,14 unholy forces do not seek to ensnare them.
Accordingly writes the holy Or HaChayim:15 “When a Jew dies, filled as he is with holiness etc., and his soul departs and his body is emptied, the unholy forces, which constantly strive to attach themselves to holiness, will assemble. This is not so when the deceased is not Jewish; since he is bereft of holiness, there is not such a large assemblage of unholy forces. ...”
The reason there is a need to be especially careful and guarded against unholy forces during the week preceding the wedding will be understood accordingly:
Very powerful spiritual forces are revealed within the bride and groom: the holy soul; the power of the Infinite One that transcends nature; and more, as explained at length in “The State of Marriage.” Therefore the forces of unholiness seek to cause damage to, and derive nurture from, these lofty spiritual levels. It is therefore advisable that bride and groom be guarded against unholy forces by not being alone.
Yitzchak in Heaven Before His Wedding
In light of the above, we will understand the Midrash16 that relates a strange incident regarding the wedding of our Patriarch Yitzchak:
When Rivka came to Yitzchak in order to marry him, the Torah relates:17 “Yitzchak went out ... and he raised his eyes....” Asks the Midrash: “From where did Yitzchak go out?” Answers the Midrash: “From Gan Eden.” In other words, before his wedding, Yitzchak spent his time in Gan Eden and only just prior to his wedding did he leave there.
This matter requires clarification. Why did Yitzchak hide in Gan Eden, an altogether extraordinary act?
However, since the unholy forces strongly desire to injure and harm a bride and groom before their wedding, Yitzchak spent this period in Gan Eden since that was the most secure and protected place of all, a place where the unholy forces would not dare to tread.