“Grant abundant joy to these loving friends as You bestowed gladness upon Your created being in the Garden of Eden of old. Blessed ... who gladdens the groom and bride.”


The Fundament of Joy in Marriage

Joy is a crucial fundament of marriage. It is thus a great and important mitzvah to celebrate a marriage with great joy.1


“Joy Breaks Through Boundaries”

Joy possesses the unique quality of “breaking through boundaries.”

Each and every person is hindered by boundaries and limitations. Joy is able to breach these boundaries and limitations, whether they be personal or interpersonal. For example:

A shy individual, who would never get up and speak before a crowd and is embarrassed to appear before them, will nevertheless, during a time of great joy, lose his inhibitions and cease being shy; he will act like the most extroverted person imaginable and will have the courage to speak before the most distinguished assembly.

Or, for example, a [normally] methodical and reflective individual will act spontaneously and impulsively during a time of great joy. Quite contrary to his nature, he totally departs from his norm and will dance and jump with abandon, unable to control his emotions and feelings.

The same can be said of a king who is always found in his palace, is almost totally inaccessible, and always acts in a stuffy, royal manner. At times of great joy, he will leave the confines of his palace and mingle freely with the populace, delighting in sharing his joy with others, even the lowliest peons.

Moreover, even criminals and rebels who are under lock and key will be freed for the duration of the king’s rejoicing so that they may join in his celebration.2

Who was greater than King David, who, though elevated and separated from the populace, “dishonored” himself in his great joy when he preceded G‑d’s Ark, as the verse states: “King David leaped and danced,”3 “rejoicing before G‑d with all his might; with songs and with harps, lyres, drums, cymbals and trumpets.”4


Joy Transforms Man’s Nature

Additionally, joy transforms [even the negative aspects of] man’s very nature and temperament; indeed, it transforms characteristics that up to now were an integral part of his personality. Joy transforms the person’s nature from one extreme to the other. For example:

Imagine a miser and moneygrubber who loves money more than life itself — a person who would endanger his life for an extra dollar and never share his wealth with another.

At the time of his rejoicing, this miserable and wretched individual may be transformed into the most magnanimous and charitable of people, a person who freely dispenses his wealth in order to provide food and drink to others. Moreover, he takes true delight in his generosity and munificence.

So, too, with regard to a highly secretive and guarded individual who never reveals his secrets to anybody, not even to his best friend, nor to his dear children or students. However, during a time of great joy he will not be able to contain himself and will reveal his closely guarded secrets.


Joy Accesses the Soul’s Essence

The reason why joy is capable of breaking all boundaries is as follows:

The world is composed of many levels — higher and lower, above and below, and the like. Correspondingly, there are diverse categories and groupings within the person himself, as well as dissimilarities between one person and the next — each according to his particular character and temperament.

When a person experiences a unique degree of joy, particularly that of the joy of a marriage, it will permeate and reach the deepest and most profound point within him — the very essence of his soul — a degree that transcends all other levels.

This level, which is termed the “essence of the soul,” is the source and root of all his soul powers. When a man’s essence is touched by joy, it will automatically affect all his soul powers since they all derive from his essence, and it will cause them to rise to the most profound heights.

In the words of the Rebbe Rashab:5

“During times of joy, one’s wisdom is permeated with light; his wisdom and all his other powers are uplifted and raised to his soul’s essence. This will cause his essential soul powers to undergo radical shifts from one extreme to the other. For joy’s source is in the bliss of the soul’s very essence — the level that is beyond composite. Therefore — the resulting delight is a delight that emanates from the soul’s essence.”


“In the Garden of Eden of Old”:
the Time Preceding the Sin of the Tree of Knowledge

The second half of the blessing states: “…as You bestowed gladness upon Your created being in the Garden of Eden of old.” In other words, the joy of groom and bride should be similar to the joy of Adam and Chava in the Garden of Eden — where true joy was felt, in complete liberty and freedom.

We may add that by stating “in the Garden of Eden of old,” there is a lesson regarding the joy that derives from the fact that “All the sins of the groom and bride are forgiven on their wedding day.”6

Seemingly the words “of old” — i.e., “in the Garden of Eden of old” — are superfluous: we are all aware that Adam and Chava lived in the Garden of Eden a very, very long time ago. Why is it necessary to inform us that this was “of old”?

However, “of old” teaches us that we are speaking here of the very beginning of the time that Adam and Chava were in the Garden of Eden, prior to their sin of eating from the Tree of Knowledge.

This, then, is the blessing offered to groom and bride — “as You bestowed gladness upon Your created being in the Garden of Eden of old”:

a) that they be as happy, tranquil and serene as Adam and Chava were in the Garden of Eden; and b) that they be as sinless as Adam and Chava were in the Garden of Eden prior to their sin. Since “All the sins of the groom and bride are forgiven on their wedding day,” their joy will be even more intense and complete.7