Additional Tzedakah

Both chassan and kallah should increase their distribution of tzedakah in the days immediately preceding their wedding.

(Simchas Olam, p. 64)1

Chassan and Kallah Refrain From Meeting

For a week before their wedding, chassan and kallah refrain from meeting, even during the day.

(Sefer HaMinhagim, p. 75)

Chassan and Kallah Refrain From Speaking on the Phone

The Rebbe once said that for the same reason that chassan and kallah refrain from meeting during the week of their wedding, they should also refrain from speaking on the phone during that week.

(Kovetz Binyan Adei Ad, p. 20)

A Chassan Is Not to Be Alone Before the Wedding

The Rebbe, my father-in-law, issued a directive that several days prior to his wedding — he did not indicate how many days — a chassan should not be alone for reasons of shemirah (guarding, protection) [from an ayin hara and the like].

In Pirkei d’Rebbe Eliezer(conclusion of Chapter 16) it states that the chassan should not be alone. However, it seems that the reason there is for the intent of honor (kavod), something that applies after he is married.

From the Rebbe, however, I heard that the chassan is also not to be alone several days prior to the marriage as well, for reasons of shemirah.

(Likkutei Sichos, Vol. I, p. 52)

Chassanim Guarding Each Other

Reb Shmuel Levitin, of blessed memory, once asked the Rebbe whether chassanim may guard each other.

The Rebbe replied that it depends on whether the reason for guarding the chassan was for the sake of shemirah [from an ayin hara, mazikim, and the like],or for the purpose of honor, since “A chassan is similar to a king.”

If for the latter reason, chassanim may not guard each other. If for the former reason, one chassan may guard the other.

(Introduction to Mekadeish Yisrael)2

Studying the Directives of the Rebbe’s Father

The Rebbe once told a chassan during a Yechidus that he should study the wedding customs in Igros Levi Yitzchak3 that relate to the Rebbe’s wedding and the preparations thereto.4

Chassan and Kallah Should Review< Pertinent Wedding Laws

In the days prior to the wedding, both chassan and kallah should review the pertinent laws of marriage, so as to assure that none of the detailed laws have been forgotten.

They are also to make sure to study those additional marriage laws that they have yet to study.

(Simchas Olam, p. 64)5

Reviewing Reishis Chochmah

The Rebbe once told a chassan during a Yechidus that several days prior to his wedding he was to review — in greater depth than the first time — the pertinent chapters in Reishis Chochmah.6

The Shabbos Preceding the Wedding

The Chassan Is Called Up to the Torah

The chassan is called to the Reading of the Torah on the Shabbos before the wedding.

Since a chassan and kallah maintain the world in existence because they will bring up children who will engage in the study of Torah, a chassan is called to read the letters of the Torah which sustain the ten creative utterances [by which G‑d continually brings the world into existence].7

(Sefer HaMinhagim, p. 75)

“From It All the Days Are Blessed”

The Zohar8 writes concerning Shabbos that “from it all the days are blessed”: all the days of the week derive their blessing and vitality from the preceding Shabbos.

Indeed, this is one of the reasons for the custom whereby before his wedding a chassan is called to the Torah not on the nearest preceding day on which the Torah is read,9 but specifically on the preceding Shabbos10 — for Shabbos encapsulates all the days of the week that are blessed through it.

.. Being called to the Reading of the Torah draws down an additional measure of the everlasting vitality of kedushah. (This occurs over and beyond the kedushah that is spontaneously elicited by the Shabbos day itself, which is11 “sanctified in and of itself.”)

This additional measure of the everlasting vitality of kedushah is hinted at in the wording of the blessing recited at the conclusion of each aliyah: “...and planted eternal life within us.”

This takes place by virtue of what is said in the preceding phrase: “He has given us the Torah of truth.” For true, uninterrupted life (“eternal life”) is possible by virtue of kedushah (“the Torah of truth”), which is infinite.

Being called to the Torah on the Shabbos before a wedding thus lends strength to the wedding, so that the home being built will indeed be a12 binyan adei ad — “an everlasting edifice,” with13 dor yesharim yevorach — “blessed with a generation of righteous offspring,” with children and children’s children occupied in Torah and mitzvos. For, as is well known,14 in this way the power of the Infinite One becomes manifest in finite created beings.

(Toras MenachemHisvaaduyos, Vol. I., pp. 119-125)

Even Greater Power Is Granted When Aliyah
Is Not Only on a Special Day but in a Special Place

Even greater power is lent to one who is privileged to have been called to the Reading of the Torah in the room in which my revered father-in-law, the Rebbe[Rayatz], prayed and studied; this is the room in which he formed a bond with the yechidah — the innermost nucleus of the soul — of every single Jew whom he received at yechidus.

This privilege even further enhances the “eternal life that [G‑d] planted within us”; life that is true and uninterrupted, because it is imbued with holiness, which is infinite.

(Toras MenachemHisvaaduyos, Vol. I, p. 125)

We Do Not Call Up More Than the Seven Individuals

.. So, too, in the minyan of the Alter Rebbe — and he was always the Torah reader — they did not add to the seven aliyos — even on a Shabbos of a wedding.

If, however, it is very necessary to do so on a Shabbos of a wedding, then this can be done by having the additional people do their own reading.

(Likkut Yud-Daled Kislev, p. 115)15

When the Chassan Failed to Be Called Up
On the Shabbos Preceding His Wedding

Once, when a chassan was unable to have an aliyah on the Shabbos preceding his wedding, the Rebbe directed that he receive an aliyah the following Monday.16

(Kovetz Binyan Adei Ad, p. 21)