SECTION 493 Laws that are Observed During the Days of the Omer (1-9)

סימן תצג דִּינִים הַנּוֹהֲגִים בִּימֵי הָעֹמֶר וּבוֹ ט' סְעִיפִים:

1 It is customary not to marry and not to cut one’s hair between Pesach and Atzeres (Shavuos). [The rationale is that] mourning is observed for the 24,000 students of Rabbi Akiva who died during these days.1

It is, however, permitted to announce engagements without [formalizing the] marriage [bond. This leniency was granted out of fear that] perhaps another person will [establish a match] with [the intended] before him. It is also permitted to hold a feast after an engagement or after the consecration2 [of a woman].3 However, there should not be dancing [at such a feast]. Needless to say, there should not be dances held for reasons unconnected with a mitzvah.4 It is, however, permitted to hold feasts for reasons unconnected with a mitzvah, for example, celebrations of [a gathering of] friends,5 [provided there is] no dancing or excessive rejoicing.6

א נוֹהֲגִין שֶׁלֹּא לִשָּׂא אִשָּׁהא וְשֶׁלֹּא לְהִסְתַּפֵּרב בֵּין פֶּסַח לַעֲצֶרֶת,ג שֶׁמִּתְאַבְּלִיןד עַל כ"ד אֲלָפִים מִתַּלְמִידֵי רַבִּי עֲקִיבָא שֶׁמֵּתוּ בַּיָּמִים הַלָּלוּ.ה,1

אֲבָל מֻתָּר לַעֲשׂוֹת שִׁדּוּכִין אוֹ קִדּוּשִׁין בְּלֹא נִשּׂוּאִין,ו,2 שֶׁמָּא יַקְדִּימֶנּוּ אַחֵר.ז וּמֻתָּר גַּם כֵּן לַעֲשׂוֹת סְעוּדָה לְאַחַר הַשִּׁדּוּכִיןח אוֹ לְאַחַר הַקִּדּוּשִׁין.ט,3

אֲבָל לֹא יַעֲשׂוּ רִקּוּדִין וּמְחוֹלוֹת. וְאֵין צָרִיךְ לוֹמַר שֶׁלֹּא יַעֲשׂוּ רִקּוּדִין וּמְחוֹלוֹת שֶׁל רְשׁוּת.י,4 אֲבָל מֻתָּר לַעֲשׂוֹת סְעוּדַת הָרְשׁוּת, כְּגוֹן שִׂמְחַת מְרֵיעוּת,5 בְּלֹא רִקּוּדִין וּמְחוֹלוֹת וּשְׂמָחוֹת יְתֵרוֹת:יא,6

2 If a person acted rashly and married [a woman] during this period, he is not penalized, because [in doing so] he performed a mitzvah. If, however, one cuts his hair [during this period], he should be penalized, because he violated an [established] custom.

ב מִי שֶׁקָּפַץ וְנָשָׂא בַּיָּמִים הַלָּלוּ – אֵין קוֹנְסִין אוֹתוֹ כְּלוּם,יב כֵּיוָן שֶׁעָשָׂה מִצְוָה. אֲבָל מִי שֶׁהִסְתַּפֵּר בַּיָּמִים הַלָּלוּ – קוֹנְסִין אוֹתוֹ עַל שֶׁעָבַר עַל הַמִּנְהָג:יג

3 A person who did not yet fulfill the mitzvah of fathering children7 or who has no one to tend to his needs, is permitted to marry even during the 30 days of mourning for his father or his mother,8 for whom he is obligated to mourn according to our Sages’ decree.9 How much more so is [such a person] permitted to marry [despite] the mourning [practices observed] during these days, which are a mere custom! Nevertheless, it is customary in these regions to be stringent [and to refrain from doing so].

ג מִי שֶׁלֹּא קִיֵּם עֲדַיִן מִצְוַת פְּרִיָּה וּרְבִיָּה7 אוֹ שֶׁאֵין לוֹ מִי שֶׁיְּשַׁמְּשֶׁנּוּ,יד כֵּיוָן שֶׁמֻּתָּר לוֹ לִשָּׂא אֲפִלּוּ בְּתוֹךְ שְׁלֹשִׁים לַאֲבֵלוּת אָבִיו וְאִמּוֹטו,8 שֶׁחַיָּב לְהִתְאַבֵּל עֲלֵיהֶם מִגְּזֵרַת חֲכָמִים,טז,9 כָּל שֶׁכֵּן שֶׁמֻּתָּר לוֹ לִשָּׂא בַּאֲבֵלוּת יָמִים הַלָּלוּ שֶׁאֵינָן אֶלָּא מִנְהָג בְּעָלְמָא.יז וּמִכָּל מָקוֹם, בִּמְדִינוֹת אֵלּוּ נָהֲגוּ לְהַחֲמִיר:יח

4 When a circumcision is held during these days, the principal [celebrants] of the circumcision, i.e., the mohel,10the sandek,11and the father of the child, are permitted to have their hair cut12 on the day before the circumcision shortly before the evening, before going to the synagogue [for the Evening Service].13

ד כְּשֶׁיֵּשׁ מִילָה בַּיָּמִים הַלָּלוּ – מֻתָּרִים בַּעֲלֵי הַבְּרִית,יט דְּהַיְנוּ הַמּוֹהֵל10 וְהַסַּנְדָּק11 וַאֲבִי הַבֵּן,כ בַּיּוֹם שֶׁלִּפְנֵי הַמִּילָה סָמוּךְ לָעֶרֶב קֹדֶם הֲלִיכָה לְבֵית הַכְּנֶסֶת13 לְהִסְתַּפֵּר:כא,12

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5 [According to custom, the restrictions mentioned are observed only during the 33 days during which the students of Rabbi Akiva died. Nevertheless, there is a question as to which 33 days of this 49-day period these days are.]

There are authorities who maintain that these 33 days begin from the first day of the counting of the omer14and end on Lag B’Omer,15for on that day the last of the 24,000 [students] died.16 Therefore, it is customary to increase one’s rejoicing somewhat on this day, and Tachanun is not recited,17 because [the students] stopped dying on this day. True, some [students] died on this day as well. Nevertheless, with regard to mourning practices, we follow [the rule]: A portion of the day is considered as the entire day, as stated in Yoreh Deah, sec. 395.18 Therefore, if one observed mourning practices for one hour or less on Lag [B’Omer] – i.e., one refrained from cutting his hair until after daybreak on Lag [B’Omer] – that is sufficient. It is permitted for [a person] to have his hair cut and marry a woman on Lag [B’Omer] after a portion of the day has passed. Similarly, [license is granted] from Lag [B’Omer] onward. If Lag [B’Omer] falls on Sunday, it is customary [for people] to get a haircut on Friday, as an expression of respect for the Shabbos.

Nevertheless, even on [the day of] Lag [B’Omer] itself, one should be careful not to take a haircut before daybreak, because [the above principle is specific]: A portion of the daylight hours is considered as the entire day. [The use of the word “day” implies daylight hours,] excluding [any portion of the night]. Even the entire night is not considered as the day, and the mourning does not end until the following day after daybreak. For this reason, Tachanun is recited in the Afternoon Service on the day before Lag [B’Omer].

There are places where it is customary not to recite Tachanun in the Afternoon Service on the day before Lag [B’Omer. The residents of these places] rely [on the authorities who maintain] that the mourning ceased at the beginning of the night of Lag [B’Omer]. Therefore, Tachanun is not recited in the Afternoon Service on the day before [Lag B’Omer], just like Tachanun is not recited in the Afternoon Service on the day before other days when Tachanun is not recited.19 [The rationale is that] the night [of the distinguished day] has the same [status] as the day [itself].20

According to the custom [of these places], it is also permitted to have one’s hair cut and marry on the night of Lag [B’Omer], (for according to their opinion, mourning should only be observed for 32 days).

ה ל"ג יָמִיםכב יֵשׁ אוֹמְרִיםכג,14 שֶׁהֵם מַתְחִילִין מִיּוֹם רִאשׁוֹן שֶׁל סְפִירַת הָעֹמֶר15 וּמְסַיְּמִין בְּל"ג בָּעֹמֶר,16 שֶׁבְּאוֹתוֹ יוֹם מֵתוּ הָאַחֲרוֹנִים שֶׁל הַכ"ד אֶלֶף. לְפִיכָךְ נוֹהֲגִין קְצָת לְהַרְבּוֹת בְּשִׂמְחָה בְּיוֹם זֶה,כד וְאֵין אוֹמְרִים בּוֹ תַּחֲנוּן,כה,17 לְפִי שֶׁבּוֹ בַּיּוֹם פָּסְקוּ לָמוּת.כו

וְאַף שֶׁמֵּתוּ מִקְצָת מֵהֶם בְּיוֹם זֶה, מִכָּל מָקוֹם הֲרֵי לְעִנְיַן אֲבֵלוּת יוֹם הָאַחֲרוֹן אָנוּ אוֹמְרִים: "מִקְצָת הַיּוֹם כְּכֻלּוֹ", כְּמוֹ שֶׁנִּתְבָּאֵר בְּיוֹרֶה דֵּעָה סִימָן שצ"ה,כז,18 לְפִיכָךְ כְּשֶׁנּוֹהֵג אֲבֵלוּת שָׁעָה אַחַת אוֹ פָּחוֹת בְּיוֹם ל"ג, דְּהַיְנוּ שֶׁמּוֹנֵעַ מִלְּהִסְתַּפֵּרכח עַד לְאַחַר שֶׁהֵאִיר הַיּוֹםכט בְּל"ג – דַּי בְּכָךְ, וּמֻתָּר לוֹ לְהִסְתַּפֵּר בְּל"גל לְאַחַר שֶׁעָבְרוּ מַשֶּׁהוּ מֵהַיּוֹם וְלִשָּׂא בּוֹ אִשָּׁה,לא וְכֵן מִל"ג וָאֵילָךְ.לב

וְאִם חָל ל"ג בְּאֶחָד בַּשַּׁבָּת – נוֹהֲגִין לְהִסְתַּפֵּר בְּעֶרֶב שַׁבָּת מִפְּנֵי כְּבוֹד הַשַּׁבָּת.לג

וּמִכָּל מָקוֹם, אֲפִלּוּ בְּל"ג עַצְמוֹ יִזָּהֵר שֶׁלֹּא לְהִסְתַּפֵּר קֹדֶם אוֹר הַיּוֹם,לד לְפִי שֶׁאֵין אוֹמְרִים אֶלָּא "מִקְצָת הַיּוֹם כְּכֻלּוֹ", אֲבָל לַיְלָה אֲפִלּוּ כֻּלָּהּ – אֵינָהּ כְּכָל הַיּוֹם,לה וְלֹא פָּסְקָה אֲבֵלוּת עַד לְמָחָר בַּיּוֹם. וְלָכֵן אוֹמְרִים תַּחֲנוּן בִּתְפִלַּת הַמִּנְחָה שֶׁל עֶרֶב ל"ג.לו

וְיֵשׁ מְקוֹמוֹת נוֹהֲגִין שֶׁלֹּא לוֹמַר תַּחֲנוּן בְּמִנְחָה שֶׁל עֶרֶב ל"ג,לז לְפִי שֶׁסּוֹמְכִין שֶׁבִּתְחִלַּת לֵיל ל"ג פָּסְקוּ הָאֲבֵלוּת, וְלָכֵן אֵין אוֹמְרִים תַּחֲנוּן בְּמִנְחָה שֶׁלְּפָנָיו, כְּמוֹ שֶׁאֵין אוֹמְרִים בְּמִנְחָה שֶׁלִּפְנֵי שְׁאָר הַיָּמִים שֶׁאֵין אוֹמְרִים בָּהֶם תַּחֲנוּןלח,19 שֶׁלֵּילָם כְּיוֹמָם.20

וּלְפִי מִנְהָגָם מֻתָּרִים גַּם כֵּן לְהִסְתַּפֵּרלט וְלִשָּׂא בְּלֵיל ל"ג (שֶׁלְּפִי דִּבְרֵיהֶם אֵין נוֹהֲגִין אֲבֵלוּת אֶלָּא ל"ב יוֹםמ):

6 There are authorities who maintain that these 33 days begin with the second day of Iyar and end on the day before Shavuos. [Nevertheless, even according to these authorities,] it is permitted to take a haircut and marry on Lag B’Omer.21 Even so, since license [to cut one’s hair and marry] is only granted after a portion of the day [of Lag B’Omer] has passed, for [a portion of the day] is considered as the entire day. Lag B’Omer is also included in the reckoning of the 33 days in which mourning is observed.

According to [a slightly different version of] this perspective, it is customary to take haircuts and to marry during all the three days of hagbalah.22However, [those who follow this approach] have their hair cut and marry only until – but not on – Rosh Chodesh Iyar, [but not from Rosh Chodesh Iyar23 onward]. Thus, they observe the mourning customs for 33 days, since they begin [observing the mourning customs] on Rosh Chodesh Iyar, and conclude on the first [of the three days] of hagbalah.24 A portion of the last day is considered as the entire day. Therefore, [those observing this custom] have their hair cut and marry from daybreak of the first [of the three days] of hagbalah onward.25

ו וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִיםמא שֶׁל"ג יָמִים אֵלּוּ מַתְחִילִין מִיּוֹם ב' לְחֹדֶשׁ אִיָּר וּמְסַיְּמִין בְּעֶרֶב שָׁבוּעוֹת. וְאַף עַל פִּי שֶׁמֻּתָּר לְהִסְתַּפֵּר וְלִשָּׂא בְּל"ג בָּעֹמֶר,מב,21 מִכָּל מָקוֹם כֵּיוָן שֶׁאֵין הֶתֵּר אֶלָּא לְאַחַר שֶׁעָבַר מִקְצָת הַיּוֹם שֶׁהוּא כְּכֻלּוֹ, לָכֵן עוֹלֶה הַל"ג בָּעֹמֶר גַּם כֵּן לְחֶשְׁבּוֹן הַל"ג יָמִים שֶׁנּוֹהֲגִין בָּהֶם אֲבֵלוּת.מג

וְעַל פִּי דִּבְרֵיהֶםמד יֵשׁ נוֹהֲגִיןמה לְהִסְתַּפֵּר וְלִשָּׂא בְּכָל שְׁלֹשָׁה יְמֵי הַגְבָּלָה,מו,22 אֶלָּא שֶׁהֵם אֵין מִסְתַּפְּרִין וְנוֹשְׂאִין בְּרֹאשׁ חֹדֶשׁ אִיָּר אֶלָּא עַד רֹאשׁ חֹדֶשׁ23 בִּלְבַד וְלֹא עַד בִּכְלָל, כְּדֵי שֶׁיִּהְיוּ נוֹהֲגִין אֲבֵלוּת ל"ג יָמִים, שֶׁהֵן מַתְחִילִין בְּרֹאשׁ חֹדֶשׁ אִיָּר וּמְסַיְּמִין בְּיוֹם רִאשׁוֹן שֶׁל הַהַגְבָּלָה.24 וּמִקְצָת אוֹתוֹ יוֹם הָאַחֲרוֹן הוּא כְּכֻלּוֹ,מז וְלָכֵן מִסְתַּפְּרִין וְנוֹשְׂאִין מִשֶּׁהֵאִיר יוֹם רִאשׁוֹן שֶׁל הַגְבָּלָה וָאֵילָךְ:25

7 If a person is unsure of the local practice [where he resides], he may not accept the leniencies of both customs – i.e., to practice leniency until Rosh Chodesh Iyar according to the latter opinion, and also to practice leniency from Lag B’Omer until the day before Shavuos according to the former opinion. [The rationale is that] the two leniencies contradict each other.26 One may, however, follow the stringencies of both approaches, i.e., to consider [haircuts and marriage] forbidden from Pesach until the day before Shavuos or until the first of the [three] days of hagbalah, with the exception of Lag B’Omer.27

True, [such a person] is observing two stringencies that conflict with each other.28 Nevertheless, he is not considered like “a fool who walks in darkness,”29 because he is doing so out of doubt, since he is unsure of which custom should be given primacy. Nevertheless, it is not necessary to conduct oneself in this manner. Instead, one may select either of the customs that he favors. One need not be concerned that this is not the prevailing local custom. [The rationale is that] since [these] mourning practices are only a custom, there is no need to be stringent due to the doubt.

If, however, a person is aware of the local custom, he should not deviate from it, [neither] taking leniencies during the days when the local populace act stringently, nor acting stringently during the days when the local populace act leniently.

If a person accepts [the stringencies of both approaches merely] as an extra [personal] stringency that he accepts upon himself to give weight to the words of the authorities who [recommend] acting stringently during these days, [that is acceptable. If,] however, he makes it appear that he is conducting himself in this manner because this is the proper way for every person to conduct himself, for fundamentally, the halachah follows the opinions that advocate stringency, [he is acting improperly. The rationale is that such a person] makes it appear that there are two Torahs,30 for he conducts himself stringently while the local populace is acting leniently, or does the opposite. [Conducting oneself in this manner] violates the prohibition lo tisgodidu,31which, [as our Sages explain,32 also includes] the interpretation, “Do not form different groups.”

[The prohibition against forming different groups applies] even when there is no concern that [conducting oneself in this manner] will lead to controversy,33 for example, one is not the only person in the city who [follows the divergent custom]. Instead, there are many in the local populace who conduct themselves in this manner and many who conduct themselves in the other manner, and neither [group of individuals] objects to the other’s conduct at all.34 [Even so, one should not act in this manner.]

ז אִם יֵשׁ לוֹ סָפֵק בְּמִנְהַג הַמָּקוֹם – אֵינוֹ יָכוֹל לִתְפֹּס קֻלֵּי הַמִּנְהָגִים,מח דְּהַיְנוּ שֶׁיִּנְהַג הֶתֵּר עַד רֹאשׁ חֹדֶשׁ אִיָּר כַּסְּבָרָא הָאַחֲרוֹנָה, וְגַם יִנְהַג הֶתֵּר מִל"ג בָּעֹמֶר וָאֵילָךְ עַד עֶרֶב עֲצֶרֶת כַּסְּבָרָא הָרִאשׁוֹנָה, כֵּיוָן שֶׁב' קֻלּוֹת אֵלּוּ סוֹתְרוֹת זוֹ אֶת זוֹ.26

אֲבָל יָכוֹל לִתְפֹּס חֻמְרֵי הַמִּנְהָגִים,מט דְּהַיְנוּ שֶׁיִּנְהַג אִסּוּר מִפֶּסַח וְעַד עֶרֶב שָׁבוּעוֹת אוֹ עַד יוֹם רִאשׁוֹן שֶׁל הַגְבָּלָה חוּץ מִל"ג בָּעֹמֶר.27 וְאַף שֶׁנּוֹהֵג ב' חֻמְרוֹת שֶׁסּוֹתְרוֹת זוֹ אֶת זוֹ28 – אֵינוֹ כִּכְסִיל הַהוֹלֵךְ בַּחֹשֶׁךְ,נ,29 כֵּיוָן שֶׁעָשָׂה כֵּן מֵחֲמַת הַסָּפֵק שֶׁנִּסְתַּפֵּק לוֹ אֵיזֶה מִנְהָג הוּא עִקָּר.נא

וּמִכָּל מָקוֹם, אֵין צָרִיךְ לַעֲשׂוֹת כֵּן,נב אֶלָּא יָכוֹל לִתְפֹּס אֵיזֶה מִנְהָג שֶׁיִּרְצֶה, וְאֵין חוֹשְׁשִׁין שֶׁמָּא מִנְהַג מָקוֹם הַזֶּה אֵינוֹ כֵּן, כֵּיוָן שֶׁאֲבֵלוּת אֵינָהּ אֶלָּא מִנְהָג בְּעָלְמָא – אֵין לְהַחֲמִיר בִּסְפֵקָא.

אֲבָל אִם יָדוּעַ לוֹ מִנְהַג הַמָּקוֹם – אֵין לוֹ לְשַׁנּוֹת מִן מִנְהַג הַמָּקוֹם לְהָקֵל בַּיָּמִים שֶׁאַנְשֵׁי הַמָּקוֹם מַחֲמִירִין, אוֹ לְהַחֲמִיר בַּיָּמִים שֶׁהֵן מְקִלִּין, אִם אֵינוֹ עוֹשֶׂה כֵּן מֵחֲמַת חֻמְרָא בְּעָלְמָא שֶׁמַּחֲמִיר עַל עַצְמוֹ לָחֹשׁ לְדִבְרֵי הַמַּחֲמִירִין בְּיָמִים אֵלּוּ,נג אֶלָּא הוּא מִתְרָאֶהנד שֶׁעוֹשֶׂה כֵּן לְפִי שֶׁכֵּן רָאוּי לַעֲשׂוֹת לְכָל אָדָם, מִפְּנֵי שֶׁהָעִקָּר הוּא כְּהַמַּחֲמִירִין, שֶׁאָז נִרְאֶה הַדָּבָר כִּשְׁתֵּי תּוֹרוֹת,נה,30 שֶׁהוּא מַחֲמִיר וְאַנְשֵׁי הַמָּקוֹם מְקִלִּין אוֹ לְהֵפֶךְ, וְיֵשׁ בָּזֶה אִסּוּר "לֹא תִתְגֹּדְדוּ",נו,31 כְּלוֹמַר:32 לֹא תֵעָשׂוּ אֲגֻדּוֹת אֲגֻדּוֹת.נז אֲפִלּוּ אִם הוּא בְּעִנְיָן שֶׁאֵין לָחֹשׁ לְמַחֲלֹקֶת,33 כְּגוֹן שֶׁאֵין הוּא יְחִידִי בָּעִיר אֶלָּא הַרְבֵּה מֵאַנְשֵׁי הַמָּקוֹם נוֹהֲגִין כָּךְ וְהַרְבֵּה מֵהֶן נוֹהֲגִין כָּךְ, וְאֵין מַקְפִּידִין זֶה עַל זֶה כְּלָל:נח,34

8 Even those who customarily consider [haircuts and marriage] forbidden until Rosh Chodesh Iyar, nevertheless, allow haircuts in honor of the Shabbos on the [preceding] Friday if [Rosh Chodesh Iyar] falls on Shabbos. [This leniency is taken] because of the increased joy [due to] Rosh Chodesh [falling on] Shabbos.35 Similarly, [it is permitted] to marry on that day, because the primary wedding feast will be held on Shabbos [which is] Rosh Chodesh.36

ח אַף לְהַנּוֹהֲגִין אִסּוּר גַּם עַד רֹאשׁ חֹדֶשׁ אִיָּר, מִכָּל מָקוֹם אִם חָל בְּשַׁבָּת,נט כֵּיוָן שֶׁיֵּשׁ כָּאן תּוֹסֶפֶת שִׂמְחָה, שַׁבָּת וְרֹאשׁ חֹדֶשׁס,35 – יֵשׁ לְהַתִּיר לְהִסְתַּפֵּר בְּעֶרֶב שַׁבָּת מִפְּנֵי כְּבוֹד הַשַּׁבָּת וְגַם לִשָּׂא אִשָּׁהסא בּוֹ בַּיּוֹם, כֵּיוָן שֶׁעִקַּר סְעוּדַת הַנִּשּׂוּאִין יִהְיֶה בְּשַׁבָּת וְרֹאשׁ חֹדֶשׁ:36

9 It is customary for both men and women not to perform work from sunset until after the counting of the omer throughout all the days of the counting [of the omer]. This is alluded to by the phrase,37 “[You shall count] seven weeks [sheva shabbasos].” [The word shabbasos38 has the same root] letters [as the word] shvus, [which means “cessation”. The implication is that] during the time of counting – i.e., from sunset onward – one should cease work until he counts. (It is possible that those women who do not count [the omer] should cease work the entire night.)39

ט נוֹהֲגִין שֶׁלֹּא לַעֲשׂוֹת מְלָאכָהסב אֶחָד אֲנָשִׁיםסג וְאֶחָד נָשִׁים כָּל יְמֵי הַסְּפִירָה מִשְּׁקִיעַת הַחַמָּהסד עַד לְאַחַר סְפִירַת הָעֹמֶר,סה וְרֶמֶז לָזֶה, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַרסו,37 "שֶׁבַע שַׁבָּתוֹת",38 מִלְּשׁוֹן שְׁבוּת, שֶׁבִּזְמַן הַסְּפִירָה, דְּהַיְנוּ מִשְּׁקִיעַת הַחַמָּה וָאֵילָךְ, יֵשׁ לִשְׁבֹּת מִמְּלָאכָה עַד לְאַחַר שֶׁיִּסְפֹּר (וְאוֹתָן הַנָּשִׁים שֶׁאֵינָן סוֹפְרוֹתסז – אֶפְשָׁר שֶׁיֵּשׁ [לָהֶן לִשְׁבֹּת] מִמְּלָאכָה כָּל הַלַּיְלָה39):סח