The name of the recipient of this letter was not released.

B”H, 16 Elul, 5710

Greetings and blessings,

Both of your undated letters were duly received. Because of [my] many involvements, a reply was delayed until the present.

According to your description of your relationship with your second wife, after your account of all your claims and everything that transpired in the arguments between you [and her], in my opinion, all [the claims and counterclaims] are without any basis. They are merely [the result of] arguments.

Surely, among the causes [of this friction] are the involvement of other people and the undesirable gossip and the like. As a consequence, in my opinion, one should seek ways to bring your heart closer to hers and hers to yours. If it is possible, it would be desirable for you to move so that you would not be living together with people who, there is reason to suppose, are spreaders of gossip and exaggerators of issues. Then, one could hope that, little by little, you will draw close to each other and the arguments will diminish until there is peace and tranquility between you.

As is understood, based on our Sages’ statement 1 “A woman’s tears are easily [provoked],” you should speak to her gently and then your words will be accepted with greater ease. “A soft answer will turn away anger.” 2 This is true even when there is a basis for anger and applies particularly in your case when there is no basis — only emotional agitation that results from arguments.

Our Sages say 3 that a second marriage is according to a person’s deeds. In addition to the simple meaning of this statement, 4 it has the implication that the nature of your relationship is much more dependent on your deeds than in a first marriage....

Enclosed is the kuntreis for the approaching day of Chai Elul. 5 Look at the conclusion of the maamar entitled Lecha Amar Libi 6 that cites the saying in Likkutei Torah 7 that in the month of Elul we meet the king as he is in the field. As is well known, a field is not a place for human habitation. Now, in each person, there is a settled city, a field, and a desert. In the field, it is permitted and it is possible for anyone who so desires to go out and greet the king. The king [on his part] receives them all with a graceful countenance and shows a happy countenance to all.

An arousal from below calls forth an arousal from Above. This applies particularly in Elul, for that name serves as an acronym for the Hebrew phrase meaning: “I am my Beloved’s” (i.e., this reflects the first initiative) which, as a matter of course, [leads to]) and “my Beloved is mine.” 8 In a similar manner, every one of us must emulate this path of conduct in his surroundings to all who are close to him. Even if it appears to him, and even if there is a basis to his view, that the other person is “a man of the field,” 9 he should nevertheless “receive him with a graceful countenance and show him a happy countenance.” Now, the month of Elul is an appropriate time for this type of relationship between G‑d and the Jewish people. [Since] “the world below is parallel to the world Above” (Zohar I, p. 38a), it is an appropriate time for this type of relation between one man and another and between a man and his wife.

You surely have fixed times for the study of the teachings of my revered father-in-law, the Rebbe, הכ"מ, for this is a broad medium to draw down and receive his blessings in material and spiritual matters.

As you requested, I will mention you, your wife, and the members of your household at the gravesite of my revered father-in-law, the Rebbe, הכ"מ. “A tzaddik who passes away is found in this world more prominently... than during his lifetime.” 10 He will grant his blessing and G‑d will fulfill it in a complete way in both material and spiritual matters....

I will conclude with blessings for a kesivah vachasimah tovah and await good news that there is peace and tranquility in your home, for peace is the vessel that contains blessing in this world. 11

Menachem Schneerson